JELLO PUDDING IS FOR SHIT EATERS.
Actually I think I just hate Jello
in general. For starters, Jello commercials are only rivaled by the shitty
'Sunny D' ads for pure annoying factor. As long as I can remember, JELLO Ads
have been annoying me. I remember when that flappy-lipped turd Bill Crosby was
hawking them surrounded by shitty little children with shit-eating facial
expressions eating this gelatinous multicolored swill. It has hardly improved
since then. The latest batch of JELLO commercials make me want to puke. They
feature a bunch of middle aged cock jockeys 'wiggling' while an annoying voice
in the background sings about what else but "Wiggling?" The first one featured
just semi-attractive women (with flapjack tits and beavers that resemble dead
rats just the same I imagine.... they still had that
to them) but the latest has thrown goofy looking guys into the mix, in a
depressing office environment. Perhaps eating shitty snacks and wiggling like
jackasses is the only break from the monotony of their miserable lives. I hope
they all get congenital herpes and rape each other's mouths.
Alas if it were only the annoying commercials, I might be able to tolerate it. However just like the aforementioned Sunny Delight atrocities, JELLO is shit. Every time I see some disgusting kid with brown smears around his mouth, I want to punt the little dunghill rat into traffic. Note to parents. Don't feed your kids processed garbage that makes them look like they've been eating shit. It makes you a bad parent. I hate everything about JELLO pudding. IT'S NOT EVEN REAL PUDDING. It's the Cheez Whiz of pudding. (CHEEZ WHIZ blows too. FUCK YOU KRAFT CANADA!)
The Gelatin snacks aren't much better. I can barely swallow that shit, its what I imagine it would be like to have someone spit congealed cum into my mouth. They've tested it and apparently JELLO has an IQ of 3. That's still 4 points more than the stupid asshole who invented gelatin in plastic cups.
In closing, I hate JELLO PUDDING and JELLO Gelatine alike, and if you like this shit, it makes you less of a human being.