Thoughts that will enhance your next trip to the crapper.

I went to a party last night and stuffed myself until my asscheeks were turning colors from the amount I was holding in. Kind of like your dick after taking a fieldtrip through an electrical socket into the gas meters. Deformed. I ran home and immediately got myself ready for a long evening on the crapper. It started off great. I went through like 5 whole CD's until that first one made an exodus from my bunghole. After that it was smooth sailing. I managed to read 2 (comic) books before I was done. Surprisingly enough, I shrunk 2 pant sizes afterward. I could've easily fit a friend in my own trousers at the time, or rather a hot girl. Ever used pants as a condom? It would work fine, but the pant leg holes doesn't serve as the best contraceptive device. It's like using fishnets. Only a little less mess.

I couldn't believe how much fun taking a crap was. Taking a shit has gotta be the greatest feeling on earth, secondary to a blowjob. Think of it like this: Imagine all the money in the world put into your girlfriends bra. It's like goodness but added with a perverted dessert. I sure ain't complaining. Same here. God gave you an oppurunity to take all the wastes of your body and flush it out with one brown sludge. Just pull down your pants, take a seat, and let the buttcheeks rip you a new closet. Either that or it's constipation,and nobody likes a bloated chunky ass.

Anyway I've written just about enough on this wonderful issue. If you ever run out of wipes, use your hand. The Hook one. It's your shit, have fun with it.


Back to how much I rule...