How to play sports without getting distracted.


 I was watching the sports channel the other day and my balls didn't like what it was seeing. Wait, it did like what it was seeing (Hot cheerleaders), but my mind had a few conflictions. Sports are for MEN. When we play sports, we like to make it perfectly clear that we're performing without any help of a female of any kind. More or less emphasizing that they are worthless, but you don't have to look at it that way if you get offended. Oh wait, you do. I know (some) chicks are hot and all, but there's got to be a fine line between sports playing (manliness) and sex playing (Penisness). In other words, your penis is hanging on tight until after you win the game so THEN you can fuck a cheerleader. But if you're standing there looking at some chicks tits while you're supposed to be taking defense, you won't win, and thus, you won't get laid. It goes hand in hand or rather, penis in vagina.

What's with the whole cheerleader gig anyway? If the job is to arouse the players as well as the crowd, why don't they just keep their shirts lifted the whole game? No one needs that give me a "P" bullshit. It's not like it helps anyway, it just makes the players feel "This is what I got out of class for? To hell with it, I'd rather take biology. At least there I'll learn about pussy anatomy." If you ask me, the cheerleaders should be coming to every game wearing slave outfits and queefing "Give me a S-H-U-T- T-H-E -F-U-C-K U-P".

I'm not trying to degrade women here, it just happens to be coming out that way because either: A) They are meant to be degraded or B) It's just too fucking easy.

My mother always tried to drill into me that women are something more than sex objects. I did research and found that male cheerleaders don't exist at women games, Male prostitution is not nearly as common as female, and on TV it's always the chicks spreading their legs and doing bathing suit poses but not the men. When I presented this to her, all I got was stunning silence. You know, the kind of silence that your penis is doing the happy dance telling you that you were right (as usual) and your semen is spinning around in your hefty meat sac like a navy of one. She had no choice but to admit I was right. Just kidding, women can never admit they are wrong because that would be degrading.


Back to how much I rule...