Board Of Education or MotherFuckers anonymous?
For those of you who
don't know what the board of education does, I'll sum it up for you in an easy
comprehendable sentence. It's a bunch of shits that hire shits to make up shit
to test our shit to make sure we learnt enough shit to be promoted to the next
grade to learn more shit. Got it? Good. The problem is we never learn in school
of shit we need to learn for life. Anyone graduating high school is less
equipped for the real world than an immigrant off of Ellis Island with a last
name of Krakovsky, old clothes, and 10 cents canadian on him. Schools aren't
putting out enough real men on the table. Like
People that wake up in the morning and say "Who's ass can I take advantage of
today and who's ass can I kick for taking advatage of mine yesterday?" Kinda
like that. Instead we have subjects that basically put our dick through the gas
For instance, I've sat through 4 years of history and what do I come out with at the end? I now know how America was founded. But I live in America and fucking hate it because it's so damn prude. So I spent 4 years doing absolutely shit. Why should I give a damn about how George Washington molested the British during the American Revolution? If you ask me, we should still be learning history, but a different genre of it. I wanna know good shit of the past, not the fuck ups. Why not teach me some sex positions from the war of 1812? Everyone knows those founding fathers had horny peckers. I just don't see why we can't benefit from this knowledge. George Washington didn't do shit, except maybe frighten Betsy Ross off with his white pubic hair, but we ended up with that flag anyway. Goddamn America.
Another totally wasted year can be summed up with one word: Chemistry. It was the biggest life robbery I ever went through. There's no other anagram for bullshit that comes so close. None of the really impressive elements ever made it to the table anyway besides maybe Potassium because that blows up. Why not give us a course in chemistry that teaches us all the chemistry in sex? There's plenty of fluids involved that would score nicely on the PH scale. What the hell does Jizz rank on it anyway because I really do feel like I have some serious acid in my nut sack at times. Chemistry is the study of matter. And penises and vaginas made up plenty of matter. Now let's learn about them.
I would consider applying to work for the board of ed, but I don't want to work with such shitheads. I guess they're trying to gear everyone for failure, and if I started making state tests, we'd have scores higher than my dick on prom night, so I'd be foiling their plans. I guess they're trying to keep the world balanced meaning no one can be good enough to get ahead of them, but it seems like someone took a major shit on the smart side and the balance is very unstable. That's why when I got my application back, it said:
Dear sir or madam,
We're sorry to inform you that all seats in the board of Education are currently filled. Please try again at a later time. As a token for our appreciation for your interest in applying, we've decided to give you a free pamphlet on our latest decisions on Yawn.... I cant finish.
Back to how much I rule...