You owe it to yourself to abort that stupid fetus.

We're all very familiar by now with how the majority of the world is dumbasses. With that said, I could skip a 2 page introduction and get to the point. There finally is a chance for you (the common dumbass) to be smart for a change. Wow, I put "smart" and "you" in the same sentence. There's hope for everyone. All you have to do is abort a shitty fetus. You're the one who fucked up and got the chick pregnant, so now do the smart thing and do away with it. Even if you didn't get a girl pregnant, now's your chance to do it anyway just for the sake of getting it aborted. Why? Sounds fun.
I'm only trying to balance the economy by getting the abortion clinics a little business. They have families too. On second thought, maybe they don't. But either way, it's their way of making a living and they need support too. Imagine everyday you have a room full of people in your office all waiting for abortions. Then you announce on the loudspeaker that you're going on vacation and won't be able to abort anything for 9 months. Ha ha, they're stuck with the babies. But all is not lost, you give them a shipping address so they can mail the baby to you UPS (Universal Pussy Shooters). All you have to do is return to sender when it reaches you. Babies are too damn helpless.
Don't give your computer that look. The only other option is letting the baby be born and that's worse than having a beef jerky soaked in Tobasco sauce shoved up your anus. It even says in the bible that they are moral. I believe the verse goes "And though shall abort fetuses that would otherwise not be taken care of in the proper manner lest it grow up to become a criminal". See? You're saving a life, before it happens.
Just make sure not to wear white underwear the day of the ceremony. Undeveloped eyeballs tend to cling to undergarments and evidence is embarassing. Well, it isn't, but unfortunately society today just doesn't see it my way.


Back to how much I rule...