What if I don't want to "Support Our Troops"?

I'm sure you're all well acquainted with those stupid yellow ribbons covering every tree and car that says "support our troops" on it. I'm also sure that you want to kick someone's ass everytime you see one. Don't worry, you're not alone. Just looking at them is enough to dry up your unborn kids. When the president decided to go to war, I was never consulted. He just took my tax dollars and shitted all over Uncle Sam. So why the hell should I support it?
Even for the supporters, what makes you think a yellow ribbon does anything? Thousands of soliders whose lives are at constant risk are now safe because of your garden deocrations. Thanks for the support, bitch. They're better off when you're not involved. Have you given a goddamn penny to the US army? No. Have you considered joining the army yourself? Risk your own life? Of course not. So why are you hanging up signs telling us to? I have a cable bill to pay and that's way more important. I can watch shit without joining it.

The same shit happened the month of 9/11. 2 buildings fall down and the world turns into a bunch of bloody vaginas. I don't mean to knock the tragedy, but I do mean to knock the people that became assholes because of it. All of a sudden every car has small flags taped to their car antennas. Millions of signs all over were saying "America will prevail" on it. What makes them so sure? They knocked our two tallest buildings. Anything after that has gotta be pussy work. It's a 50/50 chance and that's high enough for people to take the stupid signs down. If you call me unpatriotic, you can't be further from the truth. The day after 9/11 I stuck a flag in my penishole and paraded the streets with my all natural flagpole. It was higher than most people even on stilts. I thought I was supporting our troops but the cops didn't agree. They tried to arrest me for "Indecent Exposure" but they couldn't because I easily proved that 50 girls on the sidewalk thought it was decent enough. They had no choice but to take the summons and shove it back where it came from, their ass. I rule.

By all means, join the army. Your life is meaningless and we can afford to lose you. Just make your death something a little interesting because I pay for my cable and I want to get my money's worth on what I watch. I wouldn't join because earth can't afford the absence of balls like me. I preach Non-Bullshitism which apparently puts the world on stun mode. It's unheard of. Go to hell, at least over there you might have a chance.

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