What's with people always
wanting to live long? Every stupid birthday card that's full of best
wishes for many more puts fresh puke in my esophagus. The fresh puke
doesn't remain fresh and it usually splatters all over the card. At that
point I stamp the envelope and return it to the sender. Best wishes my
ass. Why would anyone want to live past the age of 50? Until then I
understand. You're helplessly unaborted and want to make up for it by
indulging in immense sexual pleasures as well as many nights beefing
away at McDonalds. By all means, dig in you penis bloating obese
balloon. But there comes an age where all good things come to an end.
Viagra can extend the male life for a good decade before that gives away
as well. At the end of the long road, your life is over but your still
breathing anyway. Would you rather be an old man in a boring hospital or
a dead man in a coffin? I thought so.
At least this way you don't have shitty nurses waking you up to give you
a sleeping pill or having to watch brilliant doctors sterilize needles
for lethal injections. You're free to sleep as long as you want. What a
I know it's a sad truth, but your life really ends when your dick gives
away. That's why it's called your "Life Force". It's all the energy of
the human body packed into that heavy tender casserole. As soon as you
realize you can't get it up without help, it's time to start writing
your will. Surrender the power to those who need more of it. Don't be
one of those pussies that try to brush away the problem. They'll find
themselves the best females and prove they can get it up and running
before dinner. You've proved nothing. I could do that with my mind. You
needed your checkbook. It's time to die.
I love how people sum up their entire life in 5 minutes trying to prove
to me that they're not going to hell. Going to church once a week isn't
a valid religious life. Buying stupid gifts and receiving stupid ones
doesn't please god either. Hell, it doesn't even please humans. My reply
usually sums up their life in 30 seconds and leaves them with their
tongues stuck in their throat while mid-farting. I usually say "Well,
let's see. You went to school for about the first 20 years of your life.
Then you got married (Big sin), and you worked until near your death day.
Now you're retired and do nothing. In between all this you got plenty of
immoral sex, internet, TV, chow down greasy dinners, driving around
doing nothing, clubbing, gambling, etc. What a religious life you got
there." I see no reason for you NOT to go to hell. Just wait till you
face the heavenly court without any lawyers besides your weakened penis
and a box of Trojans. Change of plans eh? Pack your bags, you're going