A tribute to the greatest game of all time.

I am now speaking to the Un-Fragged. I'm hoping this means my audience is well worthy. Nah, but I'll talk anyway. Anyone whose never played the game Unreal Tournament should leave. Your life has no meaning, go to hell. You do have a chance though, get your meat sac over to EB games or something and buy yourself a copy. It's preferable that you don't rent one, because you won't end up returning it. And if you do, they may not accept it back with all that cum on it.

The reason why this game kicks so much ass is because it has one goal: Blowing the shit out of everyone and everything.You may say you know other games like that, but none of them come close. You name it, either it has shitty boards, shitty bots, shitty quality, shitty everything. Even Quake 3 only reaches the balls of Unreal Tournament, and that's a compliment. There's nothing better than coming home from whatever the hell it is you do; and fragging mindless shit. This can either be computer bots or your friends. Think you're totally badass? Countless amount of morons have said this only to find their balls blown all over my screen after playing me. Make sure to practice by actually playing the game first, before even attempting to play Lan. Don't be a slack ass.

Is there anything better than rocket launching someone down and then yelling "DIE BITCH!"? If so, email me. I have yet to acquire a greater pleasure. The best is when I see two friends shooting each other, and then I walk in and finish the job. Watching people shoot each other isn't as fun as shooting them yourself. More frags for me. This game diminishes so much ass.

Just as you think things can't get any better, they could. Look out Viagra. Women, we don't need you and your stupid sex anymore. We have weapons. Imagine putting all your favorite shit in to Unreal Tournament? Done. My friend already has us listening to heavy metal while we play. If you think that's good, just wait till you see all the porn he has installed in every board. Prove you're a real man by killing the most without getting distracted by all the tits. Seriously, the only thing this game doesn't have is Pizza delivery to my door. Well hey, I now just found the world some employment oppurtunities. Deliver my pizza, bitch (while I play Unreal Tournament). I think you get the message, if not prepare to be fragged.


GenitalGrinder1 gmail.com

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