What news will be like a decade from now.

I'm getting really tired of watching the evening news. I used to watch it often because there's no better way to fall asleep than to see how much we fucked up another day on our planet. But eventually it gets boring to see the same shit happen over and over. I swear I saw the reporter roll her eyes a few times because it was like the 5th kid that day who couldn't keep a dick out of his ass. All he wanted was to get close to god, instead he got closer than he expected to some of God's priestly children. Goddamn it. This is getting too old already.

Don't people get sick of the news? Same teachers fucking children. Same people that can't handle a car. Same arabs having trouble keeping their body in tact. I need some new material, and if they aren't going to provide it, I will have to. I think that after a good couple of decades of the same news, cops might actually start to try preventing this stuff from happening. Instead of busting people for riding bikes (me) and drinking soda, they might begin to crack down on stuff like real crimes. It doesn't tell me anything when a cop busts a guy long after his dick tore a kid a new colon. If you busted open the door and shot the guys penis off before he could shove it anywhere, that's cool. Or how about foiling a bank robbery before they take the money? That's cool too.

As pathetic as this may sound, it would kind of be interesting to see a newscast like this on TV. You see a chick in a bikini come in to the room and she's like "OMG! It's like...the 10:00 news!" Then the news begins as follows "Today a NYC man tapped a lady on the shoulder to tell her that her wallet fell out of her pocketbook. Authorities say this man was attempting rape. The lady was outraged and said that she was really frightened because everyone loves losing their wallet. The man is to face up to 7 years in prison. In other news Michael Jackson has opened up a childrens nursery. Mothers of NY are astonished at his uncanny ability to work with children. Officials say his best art is that of wiping ass. The kids are pretty well-cleaned by the time they come home. The NYPD busted a young minor riding his bicycle on the sidewalk today on an empty street in Brooklyn. Despite the fact that no people were around and this law is total bullshit, this boy will be seen in court for an unfair trial. I'm a stupid bitch, good night everyone".

Ah, news at it's best. Hey, but it's a little bit more what real life is like, don't you agree?


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