Fun ways to piss off girls.
Girls are very easy to
upset, but once you're going to make them miserable, you may as well have fun
while you do it. Here are some of my favorite ways to lose a girlfriend, or just
plain ruin my future chances of ever getting one.
1) Piss on the seat. This one is total kickass because you get to do something you generally enjoy, and at the same time make someone elses life really shitty. Next time you get bored, walk over to the toilet and let loose in every place besides the water. Your sister/spouse/mother will love you for it. You're giving them a reason to exist. Free janitorial service? Who can resist that. So the next time you hear a scream from the bathroom when your mate realizes she just sat in someones warm piss, you'll know why. Sorry gals, no one's giving you a rimjob after that. .
2) This one is lame, but it works. Just call some girl you know and constantly tell her that you would do anything for her, she's your light in the dark, dick in the pants etc.. Then say you can't be with her because it might drizzle. Boy, she will feel like an idiot. Or you might. Whatever.
3) Stuff a bra full of dough or flour, strap it on, and run through the streets saying this is what girls with breast cancer look like. Then start forcing girls everywhere to take theirs off to see if they have it. Grab their tits and say cancerlicious. Then run away with their bras.
4) Jerk off on your sisters diary. Then say it's her boyfriend's cum. Watch her lick it up and then say "How does it feel to eat your nieces and nephews?"
5) Hack her screen name and write love messages to all the girls
6) Say excuse me at the table. Once everyone looks in your direction ponderously, let it out. Then say "Hey, I said excuse me." Girls will love you.
7) Spray the bathroom with fartspray after she goes, then complain like hell and arouse the familys attention into how badly she shits.
8) Write boy names on her tampons. Then bring it to school and show the guys where they end up.
9) Steal her bras and write messages in them each time like "Sorry, not today", "Just 2 more cups", "Not 2nd base material", "Holy shit?!", "You can do better". Anything that will make her laugh.
10) "Borrow" her leg shavers and dip them in sticky goo. She'll have fun removing the goo from the hairs before she can even get to removing the hairs. There goes prom night, woops.
Once their pissed off, now's your time to shine. Remind them of bad grades, boy trouble, chores they didn't get to, pimples and acne, frizzy hair, anything. They'll thank you for being so helpful in pointing out their faults. Remember, you're only trying to help...officially.
Back to how much I rule...