Ever since I was 13 and the
hormones started taking over my brain in the form of an organ which I
once thought was only used to let out urine, I had tremendous urges to
constantly grab tits. I don't mean just grab them, but to mound them
like you kneed the dough you're baking bread with. Letting go isn't part
of the equation because when you let go, you just feel like grabbing
them again. So until you actually let go, you have those three words
scrolling through your head at a refreshing speed "This is awesome."
Being the faggoty law abider that I am forced to be, I can't actually do
any of this. It ends up staying in dreams. Dreams were just dreams until
they started exiting me in the form of child goo. So every time I wanted
to fulfill my sincere desires, I had to fake my way through an evening
of romance and love so I could get to my destination. The problem is
that I have less patience than a dog staring up at his master for that
doggy bone. I need it now. And if you make me wait, I will get you. So
dates usually lasted me about 5 minutes. I would pick her up and try to
keep the straightest face possible. But those bouncy little devils would
just stare at me from the passenger seat smiling at how only the
seatbelt gets to touch them. It was from then on I decided to be a
seatbelt. I mean rip the seatbelts out of my car so they wouldn't make
me jealous anymore. So what happens when inaccessible titties tease me?
My mouth starts to fuck up my chances for me. "Oh man that shits
awesome", "May I?", "Look a flying spaceship!", "No need to go out for
dinner, it's right here."
Stupid shit like that. I just didn't have the patience to wait. How
could I? I could practically hear those titties in my head with their
stupid dialogue. "Hey man, I know I know it's a really long road to get
here. In fact, you're not even a quarter of the way there now. But where
there's pain there's reward. If you struggle with the painstaking task
of enduring those words that exit her mouth for about 2 hours, and then
pay for all the shit that she put back into her mouth, you might be
seeing me sooner than you think. How about it jackass? Oh and by the
way, I'm a C 36 and my owner likes to massage me with shampoo on a daily
basis and swirl me around in the mirror and then post pictures of me all
over MySpace. Am I making you feel like a horny bastard yet? No, don't
say it to her!! That won't get you here. You fucking suck. I'm glad it
won't be your fingerprints on me tonight." The breasts are always right.
When titties start talking to you, you know that it's going to be
disaster when you try to go on a date. So until that miraculous day when
women decide that boobies are lowering their stock price, I might be
able to cash in on some shares.