If you're not going to eat my shit, at least read it:

On My Quest For Head
(Updated: 02-17-08)

Why I can't date for shit
(Updated: 12-04-07)

Going to the beach is cool until you get slapped by grimey sausage
(Updated: 06-20-07)

Classic tales of monkey spanking:
(Updated: 11-30-06)

The real reason rapists exist.
(Updated: 08-13-06)

Not everything we say implies you're a slut, bitch.
(Updated: 05-29-06)

The JEWISH feminist agenda
(Updated: 04-05-06)

Why the fuck does every website have to have forums?
(Updated: 02-01-06)

Notorious phrases that should be butt-raped to hell.
(Updated: 12-20-05)

For god's sake, DON'T tell me jokes while I'm taking a piss.
(Updated: 12-01-05)

Pre-marital sex implies there's going to be marriage afterwards...not what I had in mind.
(Updated: 10-31-05)

Fun ways to give someone an abortion and why it's funny.
(Updated: 10-02-05)

My mother squeezed me out today.
(Updated: 09-19-05)

Getting play from a girl is like playing Russian Roulette.
(Updated: 09-09-05)

Clubbing is fun until you get humped by Asians.
(Updated: 08-29-05)

Fun ways to piss off girls.
(Updated: 08-17-05)

What news will be like a decade from now.
(Updated: 07-31-05)

The worst kinds of people on planet earth.
(Updated: 07-20-05)

Some thoughts on the new Batman movie.
(Updated: 07-17-05)

Holy shit, another post to cement your stupid vaginas closed.
(Updated: 07-07-05)

Fuck this country and all it stands for.
(Updated: 06-28-05)

You smell like shit, use VagiClean.
(Updated: 06-24-05)

Would you rather be lonely and miserable or be with someone miserable forever?
(Updated: 06-10-05)

You know you're in big trouble when your tits are bigger than your girlfriend's.
(Updated: 06-01-05)

The worst times to get an erection...
(Updated: 05-23-05)

Advertisements that can go to hell.
(Updated: 05-18-05)

Being a lazy bastard builds character.
(Updated: 05-11-05)

Examples of what not to wear when you're fat and repugnant.
(Updated: 05-02-05)

A tribute to the greatest game of all time.
(Updated: 04-28-05)

Why the hell does Viagra need a prescription? (and other tangents)
(Updated: 04-25-05)

Warning: Might contain extremely offensive material about Russians:
(Updated: 04-21-05)

I'd rather live short twice than long once.
(Updated: 04-18-05)

What if I don't want to "Support Our Troops"?
(Updated: 04-12-05)

Porn is too damn overrated.
(Updated: 04-10-05)

A guide to married life for dipshits.
(Updated: 04-05-05)

I found a new word for whore, it's called "Madonna".
(Updated: 04-03-05)

Outer Space exploration varies inversely with World Hunger.
(Updated: 04-02-05)

Since when does a feeding pube make world headlines? I mean tube.
(Updated: 04-02-05)

You owe it to yourself to abort that stupid fetus.
(Updated: 03-31-05)

I got my girlfriend the best gift ever.
(Updated: 03-31-05)

TV shows that need repair.
(Updated: 03-30-05)

How to treat a girl on the first date.
(Updated: 03-30-05)

I have an idea, why not make more shitty soft drinks?
(Updated: 03-29-05)

Board Of Education or MotherFuckers anonymous?
(Updated: 03-28-05)

How to play sports without getting distracted.
(Updated: 03-27-05)

Thoughts that will enhance your next trip to the crapper.
(Updated: 03-25-05)

(Updated: 03-24-05)

There is no bright side, EVER.
(Updated: 03-23-05)


Don't like what you see? Let me know and I'll ignore you.