Things to watch out for in a "cyber-girlfriend".
09/26/04 (12/24/01)

Prologue: This article was actually written close to three years ago (if my computer's clock is accurate, 12/24/2001) to a very close friend of mine. He was in trouble and in desperate need of my advice, so I wrote up this little thing to help him come to his senses. Unfortunately it did not help, as he kept dating the girl for more than a year after that, but, as fate may have it, the kid eventually did come to his own senses, calling up the girl one cheerful night and screaming into the receiver, "Give me back my time!" Unfortunately, it was too late for that, but he did get back everything else that he gave to her...

So as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, I was digging through my C drive today and stumbled upon this article, and figured to myself that maybe someone on this site will read this and actually learn something useful from it, and dump their internet girlfriend, so here is:

Things to watch out for in a "cyber-girlfriend".

1) Does she follow and listen to exactly everything you tell her? Does she start liking
everything you like"??? HMMM. Does she have a life, other than you? Are you her first
exposure to the world?
2) Is she totally willing to give herself up for you when, HEY THINK ABOUT IT, you've been
chatting online with her for three weeks, and have never met her face to face? Is her
life such a sad situation that she is willing to run off with something totally new
without even looking at it first, to see if it may not work out? Does she have nowhere
else to turn but you?
3) Is she always online? If the answer is yes, then how and when is she hanging around
with these "friends" she keeps talking about? As far as you know, whenever you check,
she's online, not "out with her friends".
4) Have you spoken to her "friends"? Are they as friendly with her, as she claims to be
with them?
5) Is she always depressed for one reason or another? This is the sign of a person who is
not mentally "healthy".
6) Does she not want to focus on her own life, but prefer to talk about yours? Does she
have one of her own?
7) Does she always say "my life sucks because....." and blame it on another person, or
her surroundings, and not just admit that her life sucks because it's her own
8) Does she have nothing better to do, but IM--- YOU??? Does she have anyone else on her
buddy list that she's actually friends with? A classic case of this would be when you
minimize the IM window, to do something else, such as download something or check your
email, and when you decide to check the IM window (cause it's blinking rapidly and
really pissing you off) this is what you find:
GIRL> So, what did you say about that movie?
GIRL> hello?
GIRL> OKAY, be that way!
GIRL> oh I know what it is, you don't want to talk to me!
GIRL> so you're probably talking to a more IMPORTANT girl than me anyway!
GIRL> I knew you never liked me anyway.
Now this means 3 things:
1) She's gotta be a real freak to type that quick! You turned around for a second and
BOOM! there's like a whole page of IM's to read!
2) She has no one else to talk to. Why cant she be patient, and talk to her other
friends in the meantime? Does she HAVE other friends to talk to in the meantime?
3) What the fuck? is she breaking up with you cause you didn't reply to her for one
minute? you didn't even SAY anything!! she's taking a lot into assumption as you
can realize.. Generally this is a sign of a girl who is insecure with herself.



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As I mentioned earlier, this guy eventually did come to his senses and dump this internet girl, so for all you ugly, overweight, foreign chicks, this is for you: You may have it going well for a couple of weeks, maybe even months, and you will win the heart of some poor innocent kid who is seeking love in all the wrong places, but in the end, as fate always has it, he will come to his senses and dump you, and you will return back to your sad state where you remain a fat ugly chick in some foreign country, where nobody loves you.

...Till next time.