Countdown To Your Stupid Wooden Box...
11/11/04


I was browsing through this website, and I noticed a thread titled: "Countdown To My Birthday". Instantly, my bullshit detector went off **. And no, I didn't bother actually reading the thread. In fact, it might even be about some poor boy who was ran over by a truck the other day and brutally flattened into the pavement. Could be, but I didn't read it, so I don't know, and I'm gonna assume that it's about some stupid girl's birthday.


So now I'm gonna tell you why nobody gives a crap about your stupid birthday. Have you ever been to a ball game? No. I bet you weren't cause you never found a guy who was willing to pay you 600 bucks to go see a game with him. So let me tell you what goes on at a ball game. In between one of the innings, they announce all the birthdays. And you're sitting there saying to yourself "how can so many people's birthdays be today?". And then you realize that there are 365 days in a year, and a couple of thousand people in the stadium, and it also begins to dawn on you that nobody gives a rat's ass about your stupid birthday when they've got their own the same day, as well as their cousin's the day after, and their girlfriend's, the day after that. We were all pushed out of some sorry ass chick's legs but that doesn't make us special. Again, the key is that I said "we all". It's dumb. As I see it, the only reason why people celebrate birthdays is so that they can sit and wait for every one of their friends to wish them a happy birthday, and then be UPSET when one of their friends misses it. That's right. People want birthdays so that they can get upset at people for forgetting to wish them happy birthday. Talk about twisted thinking.

And girl, as far as your stupid birthday is concerned, nobody cares but they will respond with a "happy birthday" because their keyboards are waiting, and their hands are getting impatient, and plus, they feel like it is the "right thing to do", whether or not they actually give a rat's ass about your birthday, which I assure you, they don't.


...And by the way, I chose the title for this topic by taking "Countdown To My Birthday" and slightly modifying it. I figured it would make a really cool title for any topic, but especially one about someone who is celebrating the years that bring them closer and closer to a wooden box.

 

** The "My bullshit detector went off" thing was taken right from Maddox. Maddox, you truly rule and deserve to be copied.