Countdown To Your Stupid Wooden Box...
I was browsing
through this website, and I noticed a thread titled:
"Countdown To My Birthday". Instantly, my bullshit detector
went off **. And no, I didn't bother actually reading the
thread. In fact, it might even be about some poor boy who
was ran over by a truck the other day and brutally flattened
into the pavement. Could be, but I didn't read it, so I
don't know, and I'm gonna assume that it's about some stupid
So now I'm gonna tell you why nobody gives a crap about your
stupid birthday. Have you ever been to a ball game? No. I
bet you weren't cause you never found a guy who was willing
to pay you 600 bucks to go see a game with him. So let me
tell you what goes on at a ball game. In between one of the
innings, they announce all the birthdays. And you're sitting
there saying to yourself "how can so many people's birthdays
be today?". And then you realize that there are 365 days in
a year, and a couple of thousand people in the stadium, and
it also begins to dawn on you that nobody gives a rat's ass
about your stupid birthday when they've got their own the
same day, as well as their cousin's the day after, and their
girlfriend's, the day after that. We were all pushed out of
some sorry ass chick's legs but that doesn't make us
special. Again, the key is that I said "we all". It's dumb.
As I see it, the only reason why people celebrate birthdays
is so that they can sit and wait for every one of their
friends to wish them a happy birthday, and then be UPSET
when one of their friends misses it. That's right. People
want birthdays so that they can get upset at people for
forgetting to wish them happy birthday. Talk about twisted
And girl, as far as your stupid birthday is concerned,
nobody cares but they will respond with a "happy birthday"
because their keyboards are waiting, and their hands are
getting impatient, and plus, they feel like it is the "right
thing to do", whether or not they actually give a rat's ass
about your birthday, which I assure you, they don't.
...And by the way, I chose the title for this topic by
taking "Countdown To My Birthday" and slightly modifying it.
I figured it would make a really cool title for any topic,
but especially one about someone who is celebrating the
years that bring them closer and closer to a wooden box.
"My bullshit detector went off" thing was taken right from
Maddox. Maddox, you truly rule and deserve to be copied.