Some actually new ideas for "Reality TV".
It seems that today, people enjoy watching nothing else but
reality TV. Those good old days of Seinfeld and The Simpsons
are over. Now we just want to see girls getting conned into
marriages where they think they're marrying the guy for
money, but are actually marrying him for his excellent
personality (disappointing, isn't it?). Being that I may
want to run some TV shows one day, I've considered this
change and abandoned all my ideas for TV shows involving
psychotic robots who eat people alive and ninjas who fight
bulls their bloody death. Instead I will direct some Reality
TV shows. It's crappy, but it's what people want. I guess
they've forgotten how to laugh. Whatever.
So here are some of my ideas. You're welcome to hate them.
On this show, a bunch of guys compete to marry this saint.
What they don't know is that she is actually a prostitute
who's got every known STD in the books. The viewers watch as
the contestants prove themselves to be excellent models,
giving up everything they have just to be able to marry this
"saint". The one who is the best: the nicest, kindest, most
charitable, gets to marry the girl and spend the lovely
wedding night with her. They then wake up the next morning
with HIV. The remainder of the show focuses on the poor soul
dying away in a hospital bed. The highlight of the show is
when they break it to him that the girl was actually a
prostitute and had all these diseases. "Ha Ha. You were
fooled." they tell him.
The plot to this show is simple. A bunch of men are locked
in a room without food and drink for 30 days. And the
feasting begins! The last remaining survivor wins $10,000.
"Countdown To Suicide"
On this show, 10 contestants are set up. The best part about
it is that they don't even know they're set up, or even on a
show at all for that matter. Everyone around them starts
being extremely obnoxious to them, intentionally making
their life miserable. Their boyfriends and girlfriends all
dump them in the most cold-blooded way and then keep calling
them, just to torture them even more. The viewers watch
excitedly as all the contestants get fired from their jobs,
one by one, and then each begin visiting psychologists. The
show covers all the "private" conversations had among these
contestants and their doctors. Finally, the highlight of the
show covers the actual suicide scene where you see the poor
tortured soul (if it's a girl: preparing the Tylenol, if
it's a guy, preparing the noose), which is about the time
that everyone jumps out from their hiding places and screams
"Surprise, it was all just a joke! Here's a million bucks!"
--It'll even be enough to keep them away from the lawyers...
This one I especially like because of the quickness of it.
That's right each series has only about two or three
episodes to it, so people don't have to run home early from
work in order to "find out what happens", every night,
consecutively, for four months. This one comes and goes
really quick. So anyway, here's the outline: A bunch of
12-year old kids move in with each other into a huge
beautiful hotel, and are told that they will win
$100,000,000 if they survive. They then each form alliances
with each other (or make enemies with each other). Together
they plot against each other, thinking of evil and painful
ways to kill each other, like poisoning each other's food,
accidentally starting the meat grinding machine with
someone's arm in it, etc.. The highlight of the show is when
best friends have to kill each other just in order to stay
in the game (yeah, it includes all the emotional crap....yay).
The show finally ends when there are a bunch of dead bodies,
and one guy who's still alive (with a puddle of blood around
him, of course). What I like so much about this show is that
parents can "off their bad kid" if they don't want him
anymore, or win a million bucks, in which case they'll
accept the damn kid back. But actually, the best of all is
that innocent little12-year old kids die. Who can't love
---It's Olympics.....but with a TWIST!!!!!!
For this show, they gather the best swimmers from around
the world to compete for (yeah, a million bucks). All they
have to do is be the first to swim ten laps in a pool filled
with sharks. If no one makes it, the pot doubles for the
next group of swimmers. It's like the lottery!!!
"A Walk through Bed-Stuy"
On this show, a bunch of brave white people compete for the
last standing man. They all have to walk together, in a
group, through Bed-Stuy, back and forth, until there is only
one of them left. The last one has to escape before being
shot and he is awarded ten bucks.