C'mon, bid another cent ya cheap SOB!
12/31/04


A couple of minutes ago I was attempting to help out a friend, for which I am now sorry because he proved himself to be what I call, "an eBay jerk". Get a load of this: He doesn't have an eBay account, yet he sells tickets on eBay at least twice a week (on a friend's username......whaaaa?) (For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, that involves an insane amount of money calculations, as well trips to each other's banks to get everything straightened out).

You know, I've always been wondering who these stupid people are, who sit there at their computers upping bids by 25c increments at a time, hoping that they'll magically win a laptop for $1.75. Well tonight, I found out...

A friend calls me up and asks me if I can throw a bid on a cell phone for him. Being the warm-hearted Snake that I am, I said yes, unfortunately forgetting to read him the disclaimer which includes (in fine print): "Don't be a jerk."

About a minute and a half before the auction ends, I get an instant message from him:

Another eBay idiot: dude i think i want this phone
Another eBay idiot: aight man go for it
Another eBay idiot: up to 90
Sgt. Snake: ok 90 is outbid
Another eBay idiot: 92
Sgt. Snake: outbid
Another eBay idiot: 95
Another eBay idiot: 97
Sgt. Snake: outbid
Sgt. Snake: ended
Sgt. Snake: you suck
Sgt. Snake: dont ever make me pull that shit again
Sgt. Snake: make a bid and stick with it
Another eBay idiot: i didnt know it would gor from 85 to 96 in 1 minute
Sgt. Snake: science.
Sgt. Snake: It always does as there are a bunch of morons out there just like you
Another eBay idiot: how high should i have bid
Sgt. Snake: You should have made a bid and stuck with it
Sgt. Snake: now you don't have a phone, and feel like a jackass
Another eBay idiot: preety much

Session concluded

Another eBay idiot: another one just sold for 66
Sgt. Snake: really
Another eBay idiot: yeh
Sgt. Snake: i guess you really are a dumbass
Another eBay idiot: yeh but dude

 

But, what?
I rest my case.