Agudah Convention my ass.
01/07/05

   Hey, does anyone know what they talked about at this year's annual (82^nd) Agudah Convention? I bet you don't. (you can email me if you do...) You know why? Oh, I do! Maybe it's because nobody gives a damn. Wait! That thing when thousands of rabbis get together to talk about the dress code they're going to enforce on their yeshiva bochrim next year? Nobody cares?

   Damn right, nobody cares. Hell, even the rabbi's don't care. I remember back in 1998 (was it?) when they "decreed" that nobody make engagement parties. Whoops. I think we forgot about that one. Here's some other stupid crap they said:

• No more than a 5-piece band at your wedding

• You can't have a bar

• Can't spend more than $1,800 on flowers (whaaaaaaattt?)

• No more than (400? or 500?) adult guests. (As anything that comes out of a Jew's mouth, these guidelines are extremely unclear and keep changing throughout the text.)

   That last thing is kind of stupid if you ask me. If you follow the other restrictions, I don't think you'll be able to find 500 people who want to come, let alone 10 to get you a minyan...

   Now of course up until now, I've just been bashing a possibly worthy cause without any argument. Don't think I forgot about that, cause I didn't. They claim that "People borrow money to pay for [the weddings]; they take out second mortgages, and then are stuck because they can't repay it," and that the stress caused by these money woes "is even affecting people's health and shalom bayis."
   My argument? They're stupid! Why should the world have to suffer because of a few ignorant morons who can't manage their finances right? If you can't afford $1,800 flowers, don't get them. Hell, if I ever have a wedding, and I can afford it, I'm still still not spending $1,800 on that crap. So why should you? As for the bar and band limitations, I'm against those too. Bars don't cost too much and add a lot of joy the the affair....and guests; like this one time when I was attending a friend's wedding and I picked up a date at the bar... As for the music restriction, I think a five-piece band ought to be enough: A singer, two guitarists, a bassist and a drummer - but I still don't think there should ever be a limitation on anything that has to do with music - so I'm against that too.

Bottom line, these Agudah Conventions are boring, stupid, and pointless. Even the people who attend them and get up on the podium to make an ass of themselves - end up going against what they said, so why do we bother with them?

Good question.

Oh, and by the way, I actually did some minor research for this page, and if you want a good laugh, you can check this out on your own...

Snake,
Revealing the stupidity in our Jewish world.

Oh, and right. This isn't supposed to be funny. It's supposed to be serious. But feel free to laugh anyway.