Agudah Convention my ass.
Hey, does anyone know what they talked about at
this year's annual (82nd) Agudah Convention? I
bet you don't. (you can email me if you do...) You know why?
Oh, I do! Maybe it's because nobody gives a damn. Wait! That
thing when thousands of rabbis get together to talk about
the dress code they're going to enforce on their yeshiva
bochrim next year? Nobody cares?
Damn right, nobody cares. Hell, even the rabbi's don't care.
I remember back in 1998 (was it?) when they "decreed" that
nobody make engagement parties. Whoops. I think we forgot
about that one. Here's some other stupid crap they said:
No more than
a 5-piece band at your wedding
have a bar
more than $1,800 on flowers
No more than
(400? or 500?) adult guests. (As anything that comes out
of a Jew's mouth, these guidelines are extremely unclear
and keep changing throughout the text.)
That last thing is kind of stupid if you ask me. If you
follow the other restrictions, I don't think you'll be
able to find 500 people who want to come, let alone 10
to get you a minyan...
Now of course up until now, I've just been bashing a
possibly worthy cause without any argument. Don't think I
forgot about that, cause I didn't. They claim that "People
borrow money to pay for [the weddings]; they take out second
mortgages, and then are stuck because they can't repay it,"
and that the stress caused by these money woes "is even
affecting people's health and shalom bayis."
My argument? They're stupid! Why should the world have to suffer
because of a few ignorant morons who can't manage their
finances right? If you can't afford $1,800 flowers, don't
get them. Hell, if I ever have a wedding, and I can
afford it, I'm still still not spending $1,800 on
that crap. So why should you? As for the bar and band
limitations, I'm against those too. Bars don't cost too much
and add a lot of joy the the affair....and guests; like this
one time when I was attending a friend's wedding and I
picked up a date at the bar... As for the music restriction,
I think a five-piece band ought to be enough: A singer, two
guitarists, a bassist and a drummer - but I still
don't think there should ever be a limitation on anything
that has to do with music - so I'm against that too.
Bottom line, these Agudah Conventions are boring, stupid,
and pointless. Even the people who attend them and get up on
the podium to make an ass of themselves - end up going
against what they said, so why do we bother with them?
Oh, and by the way, I actually did some minor research for
this page, and if you want a good laugh, you can
check this out on your
Revealing the stupidity in our Jewish world.
right. This isn't supposed to be funny. It's supposed to be
serious. But feel free to laugh anyway.