Some thoughts on kosher bagel stores...
So today I had the unfortunate experience of sitting down in
a kosher bagel store and having to listen to their crappy
music on the PA (Seems that there are no kosher bagel stores
out there who have the balls to play some Megadeth; now
there's an idea for a business...). Anyway, the words of the
stupid song went somewhere along the lines of "Baruch Attah
Hashem, Shehakol N'hiyah B'dvaroh." Then some other stupid
words, and then back to the stupid "Baruch Attah" part
was really pissing me off and taking away from the enjoyment
of my lox-spread sandwich so I decided to try to think of
something else. So I pictured the comical scene of having my
girlfriend make that very same bracha on my meat...
Meat is a "Shehakol", right?
Either way, my imagination was
successful at getting me through my bagel and out the
But I was thinking, do the owners of these bagel stores
each other up and decide on which three songs they are going
to play for the next six months, to piss ME off? Because
every kosher bagel store I go to is playing the same damn
song... And how do the workers breath with that crap playing
Perhaps the owners haven't heard of Pantera. I think it
would be really nice if they added that to their crappy mix
of "Kol Chassan" and "Shehakol", and then maybe they can
wean themselves off their crap songs, and eventually
completely switch out for Pantera. Then they can put a
crucifix on their front door and have live moshpits while
you sit and eat your bagel... That would be cool. I know I'd
be eating more bagels...
And maybe then those annoying, snotty, thirteen year-old
chicks won't bother coming into the store to bother me