waterbury is for bullshitters with NEXTEL phones.
04/02/05

I don't think I need to write anything more than the title because I have already said my point, and I don't need proof because it is rather obvious, (just look), but you may forget about it if it's just a title, so here's an article.

Okay, that was a gay-ass introduction, but why should a gay-ass yeshiva get anything better than that? You may have noticed that "waterbury" is missing it's capital 'W'. Perhaps that is because they don't deserve one. If I was talking about the town, I'd give it the caps letter, but then again, maybe not because it has that goddamn yeshiva in it.

From here on I will be talking about the waterbury yeshiva and all of the people who go there, and have gone there, except for one person, of who I'm thinking, "Why the hell does he go there?" If you're thinking you're that one person, than you forsure aren't, and suck twice as much as anyone I put down in this article.

waterbury is for fakers. (damn it's so easy to not have to hit the shift key for the 'w'!). Everyone I know from that yeshiva spends more time in the hallways flirting with girls on the phone that in the beis medrash. Now I have no problem with people spending their entire day on the phone frying brain cells talking to people they're never gonna get shit from, but not when their lying about where they are and what they do. Worse than that, the girls they talk to think they're in yeshiva learning all day:

     Open your eyes fool. He's on the phone with you and your friends all day. How can he be
     learning?

People are stupid and people like to be deceived. So I guess it's a nice arrangement going on over there. Basically some con artist decided that he had an opportunity to make some cash, phoned some guys with the prefix "rabbi" attached to the front of their names, bought a little building (obviously not big enough to house all the bochrim at one time, but who gives a shit), and got a dormitory (where the bochrim can jerk off all day while they're imagining unimaginary things with their whorefriends on the phone). Good setup, dickwads, I give you some credit. But now that my article is out, some rabbi is bound to stumble on it, and start up a riot, not realizing that by trying to get people to go against me (who nobody gives a shit about), he is also going to get everyone to see the truth about waterbury, and I win.

Here's your typical image of a waterbury guy:
     Yanky lives in brooklyn, NY. Obviously too far from waterbury to actually be in waterbury, but he's still in waterbury. He spends the majority of his day walking through Jewish neighborhoods with his extra large yarmulka, white shirt, and tzitzis out, hoping to spark up a conversation with a Jewish girl about he frum he is, and about how he doesn't talk to girls, because that's goyish.
     Some bullshit shadchuns see him walking around all day and think to themselves: "oh look, what a nice frum boy! Lets set them up with someone really nice!" Then they find out about how they are in waterbury and get even more excited because everyone knows that waterbury is an excellent yeshiva, and no one who goes there is a bullshitter. It doesn't occur to them that the boy spends his entire day walking back and forth in front of their house, and not in yeshiva. But that's besides the point. So anyway, these people go on a couple of dates and really hit it off well because all the boy does is talk about how frum he is, which all of you know, will make a frum jewish girl wet her skirt. A couple of weeks later they get engaged, and then a few months later, married, and live happily ever after, at least according to onlysimchas.com...

Man, I hate onlysimchas.com...

Oh shit. I forgot to talk about the NEXTEL phones. Basically if you own a NEXTEL phone that means your very important and prominent. Also very important for the image of a waterbury boy, as he impresses people all over with his full-day schedule in yeshiva, and business which he owns, on the side. That makes for a boy who you definitely want to marry your daughter, as he is capable of doing so many things, and being a nice frum boy, all at the same time. Right?