Jews don't fuck through fucking sheets, goddammit.
The other day I was at a comedy show with some friends and
the comedian's like "do you guys really fuck through
sheets?" Well I'll have you know, no, we don't fuck
through fucking sheets. But people keep on asking me
that and its fucking annoying. What kind of sick fuck do you
take me for? Anyway we didn't really get to answer the
question at the show because the comedian didn't listen to
us; he instead proceeded to make all these "fucking through
sheets" jokes like "oooooh I'm Pac-Man, can I eat you?", and
Well, everyone else thought it was funny...
Anyway it seriously pisses me the fuck off that when I walk
down the street, some people might actually be looking at me
and saying to themselves "now there's a guy who fucks
through sheets", because I DON'T FUCK THROUGH FUCKING
SHEETS. In fact, there's probably not more than two
Jewish couples in the entire world who fuck through sheets,
and they are probably just ultra-religious as well as
mentally retarded, and the reason they fuck through sheets
is because they are mentally retarded (not ultra-religious).
Seriously, I don't know how this shit got out but I wish to
clear it once and for all. So if you see me in a bar and
you're thinking of shacking up with me, but are afraid about
getting into that whole sheet shit, fear not, because I will
fuck you the same way any other man would...
Oh, and once more, in case anyone is unsure of what they
just read, even though they read it five times: There is no
fucking way I plan on ever fucking through a fucking sheet,
not unless its part of some sick fantasy my girlfriend
enjoys, and, she blows me for it in exchange...
Now I know I have a bad tendency of starting articles and
not finishing them, and just putting them up that way, so
here's a fucking ending for you. NO FUCK VIA BEDSPREADS. THE