People love me!
08/15/05
 

     Something completely bad and horrible happened yesterday afternoon. I thought I was here to piss the world off but then all of a sudden I received this email from some "mom" wishing me a good year....The worst part is it isn't even that time of the year so I don't know what the hell is going on.

Dear Snake,
   Have a gut gebencht  yur,
Love,
Rivlinators mom

There it is. The email in it's entirety, weird indenting and all. Could this be a mockery of my article about "Gut Gebencht Yur"? For some reason I don't think so. I think it's something else... Maybe she took offence to the sheets thing, man I don't know. I mean I asked a couple of people before writing that article??? I don't do it through sheets with me Julie....

Notice how in between "gebencht" and "yur" there's a double space? I noticed it right away and the first thing that came to my mind was that she was secretly giving me the middle finger. Who is this person anyway? Shouldn't she be at work at 1:54 PM when she wrote me this email?

Anyway, fans piss me off. If you want to complement my work, send it to CorruptionX, (although I don't think he needs to hear it from you). If you want to tell me how much I suck or swear, the email address is snake clubcorruption net. CC'ing it to CorruptionX is cool too... Anyway, please don't send me fan mail. I have nothing to do with it and it just clogs up my inbox. It doesn't bring me happiness or anything, just more sadness for the fact that I'm not doing my job right. If you want to make me happy, send me an email telling me that you've banned your entire "Yeshiva" from going to my website or reading any of my articles, or that you're signing an online petition (yeaa rite) to have my site taken off the net. As far as I'm concerned you all suck, so knowing that you crappy people aren't reading my site doesn't bother me in the least. That way I can read my site over and over again and the average intelligence level of my site's readers will go up...

And what's with the "hey man why don't you update?" A perfect example of this is:

hey snake, who do you think you are, maddox or something? You gotta update, man! I don't care if you're signing contracts with big networks and magazines so you can actually make money off of your biting humor - no wait, that's what maddox is doing.  Okay then, snake--I don't care if you're busy writing programs or stopping the world from repopulating. To quote a familiar line... Make a post - do as i say!!

sincerely,
Punk W.

Who the hell is "maddox" anyway? I thought I created anger.... Anyway I don't update cause I'm not your bitch, bitch. When I get tired of playing "RattlerRace" or spacing out, maybe I'll give you an update, but much other than that, don't expect anything. Anyways it's kind of stupid to write an article, pretending to be pissed off, after you've just gotten a blowjob. It just doesn't work. Lately, man...... well if you don't go to shul you just don't get pissed off. Maybe I should start going again...

 

Corrections to the above article: I know who "maddox" is. He created anger: http://maddox.xmission.com. He's also in the Urban Dictionary: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=taint

I also do go to shul...