If you're gonna get married just to lose it, I've got a better idea for you: Give me all that money and I will show you the night of your life...
12/8/05
 

     I've heard of people "holding out on their virginity" until they get married, and what can I
say... I think it's a stupid idea, but I guess I can respect it. After all, it's usually the
ugly girls who want to "save it" anyway.. But here's what I don't get: People who get
married just so that they can have sex for the first time, in marriage. What the fuck is
that? Either wait until you're married to have sex, or don't, but don't get married at 15
just to make a political statement.

     I'm 21 and nearly all of my friends are married or at least engaged, and they are mostly
younger than me. And the ones that aren't married or engaged, have plans to "get engaged" to their girlfriends within the next year, and almost all of them are just doing it so that
they can "not lose their virginity before they're married". I say, fuck that shit...

     What do you do after you fuck for your first time on your wedding night and you're like,
"shit this girl does not even know what a set of balls are", and now you've got a naggy
pregnant bitch on your hands, and even worse, a baby? Fuck it, I don't know what you do.
Raising a kid's like 100 grand, and having an abortion is like $400 bucks, but that also
means you're never fucking HER again. It IS a tough decision... Women are cruel. They can
say "no" to the abortion and it's you paying child support. I think whoever doesn't want the
abortion should be the one stuck with the bill. Sure, it was YOU who impregnated HER, but
then again, it was HER who spread her legs, and it was a conscious decision on her part, and
she wasn't under the influence of anything......or was she :)

     Tell me something. If you get a divorce three months later because you only married her for the sex, are you a hero for waiting until you were married to lose your virginity? NO!
You're a fucking dumbass! Furthermore, there's no way in fuck you're gonna keep your dick in
your pants after that divorce...so what exactly is it that you're standing up for? Sex only
in marriage, or is it sex for the first time, in marriage? Let's all just get married when we're like 12 and then get a divorce the next morning and fuck all we want after that. Hell, "we kept our virginity until we were married". You know. they should run a community service, kind of like a car wash, you walk in the front door with your dick out and a ring in your hand and you come out of the back exit three minutes later with divorce papers in your hand. Don't worry, I know that three minutes is shitty sex, but if you hold onto the marriage for any longer, you may lose your balls and forget to nullify it. It doesn't matter anyway because now that you've been married, you can go home and have three-hour sex right after, as a single man.

Now I know that when I spell it out for you, you're still probably thinking "oh, but Snake, you make it seem so right, but I still can't help myself from feeling guilty about it!". Well guess what, my Snake's out and I can get rid of that guilty conscience from you in about three seconds, though you'll probably want it to take longer.....um.....Ladies...

I don't know what else to say, I mean, shit, I hope my girlfriend isn't reading this..