If you weigh
more than 300 pounds and your ass sticks out of the bottom
of your skirt, you DON'T have to look over your shoulder to
make sure that little kids aren't "checkin' you out".
Have you ever tried pissing right after you've had sex and
it starts squirting in two different directions at the same
time? Man, that is really fucked up. Either that or I gotta
see a doctor or something.
Anyways, the other day I was walking down the street minding
my own damn business, as usual, when I noticed that this
nasty ass Jewish chick walking in front of me who kept
glancing over her shoulder every couple of seconds. Mind
you, this chick looked like she weighed 300 pounds and was
rolling one of them double baby holders. Crap, I wouldn't
tap that shit even if you paid off the down payment on my
house, why the fuck does she keep looking at me? I don't
pork fat chicks. Or even eat them out. That shit is
disgusting. You know, sometimes I wonder how her hassidic
husband ever wants to tap that 300 pound piece of lard.
Maybe he should be more honest with her about her looks and
she'd be less worried about people staring at her when she
walks down the street.
I mean seriously, her ass was sticking out of the bottom of
her skirt. I've seen old ladies whose tits don't even hang
down that much!
I really don't get it. The hot Jewish girls in school all
talk to me, but those nasty ass chicks that look like one of
them floaters in the toilet that won't go down when you
flush it all keep giving me dirty looks, even when I'm not
looking their way. Maybe I should just burst their bubble
and tell them that they look a lot nastier than that 60 year
old prostitute I screwed the night before because I was
getting desperate and it was getting late, and I only had 20
bucks on me.
I was talking to this gentile in a bar and he was telling me
how all the religious Jewish chicks are the hottest. You
know what I was wondering? How he'd be able to put up with
their shit. Seriously. Forget about the fact that they won't
put out until you marry them, how the hell can you go out
with a girl who keeps nervously playing with her collar to
make sure you aren't looking down at her A-sized tits? Next
time some Jewish chick pulls that shit on me, I'm just going
to point across the room at that non-Jewish girl whose
sitting there, half-naked, and is twice as hot as her.
I don't know what the hell the point of this rant was. In
fact, there probably wasn't one. Except that I just got
turned down by some Jewish chick cuz she thinks I'm not
religious enough for her, or because I don't wear jeans with
my tzitzis sticking out, or because I didn't go to Waterbury
and talk shit all the time. Dammit. Jewish chicks are all
the same. They're all like "ya totally, I want a boy who
will be in Yeshiva but also work, and also be in Yeshiva,
but also work, and, yah totally"......
SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!