No, I'm not
getting married. Now beat off.
It pisses me off when people keep asking me "when I'm
getting married already". Why is it their damn business what
I do with my life? Just because they got married and now
realize that it sucks, why do they feel the need to pull
their friends into the same pit?
I'm very happy being single, and that's because I can do
what I want, when I want. If I feel like leaving the house
at 2AM to grab a late snack, I can. The only person I need
to answer to is myself, and the only concern I need to have
is getting up the next morning, if I happen to need to be up
the next morning.
There's so many divorces today, and most of them are because
the guy got married before he was ready to commit, and the
girl is sick and tired of his shit. Well, I've got shit.
I've got plenty of it and I like every bit of it. And so
long as I'm single (not married), this doesn't affect
My mom is afraid that if I move out I will never get
married. Why is that? Eventually I got her to admit that
most guys get married because they fear having to take care
of themselves, but once they move out and get good at it,
and they pretty much no longer have a reason to get married.
"That's stupid", I thought. "Why are people so stupid? Why
does my mom want me to be so stupid?"
"Are You Gay?" I'm going to bash someone's face in the next
time I hear that. Yes, of course, all people who 'date to
get married' are "straight" and all people who don't are
"gay". And yes, getting married just to get laid, despite
the fact that you aren't ready to deal with marriage, and
that it will likely ruin your life, your wife's life, (and
the lives of your children which you will for sure have
because Jewish people never heard of birth control) is a
great idea, and the only way of showing that you are a
clever being, capable of making decisions for yourself. Oh,
and that you're not gay.
"You're next in line". I get that one a lot too. How the
hell are they supposed to know that I'm next in line if I
don't? Let's not even mention the fact that I'm currently
single (hey, ladies.....)? The only logic I can make out of
is that it's my friends' way of telling me that they really
want me to get married because they feel distanced from me
by the fact that they are married and I'm not. Well, tough
shit. If you don't feel like you can be friends with me
anymore, then don't. I've got enough single friends to not
have to worry about losing the two shitty married friends I
have, who anyways have a curfew of 11:00 PM, and always end
up ruining everything.
So, I'm not getting married, at least not for the
foreseeable future. If you don't like it, get yourself a
divorce and meet me on the flip side!