Move to Israel
and shut up.
The next time I hear something about Israel I'm going to
puke. You've got all these people who won't shut up about
Israel. Went there for Yeshiva for two weeks, they come back
wearing their "knitted yarmulka" and being all Hillelish.
Fuck you. Seriously. It pisses me off so much. You're living
in America. If you love Israel so much, why don't you move
there? There's nothing worse than having to listen to
someone who just bitches about everything all day.......
Seriously though, these people walk around being bitter
about the place that they live. I know so many Israeli's who
moved to America because they can't find a job there.
Clearly, this makes America better. Nobody tied a rope
around your penis and dragged you to America. You came at
your own free will, so quit complaining. And it doesn't stop
there. How about those Russian cab drivers who bitch all day
about being Neuro-surgeons back in Russia? How many damn
Neuro-surgeons were there already? If you don't like the
culture, don't move here. Just realize that it is also this
culture that makes this the land of opportunity, that is,
allows you to get a job driving rich Americans around the
same 4-block radius in Times Square.
Some dude came over to my house the other day. He wouldn't
shut up about Israel for a second. Mind you, this wasn't a
friend, just someone tagging along with friends, which means
I put up with less bullshit. Nonetheless, I put up with his
shit for a good half hour while he tried to impress one girl
after the other with his wide knowledge of Israel, mainly
involving where to get a good Shwarma (by the way, Israeli's
don't eat Shwarma, they can't afford it; Shwarma's are for
poser Americans; you're a dumbass). On his way out my door,
he says something in the line of "This house smells so
American", to which I responded. "I hate Israel so much, all
those damn hippies who play acoustic guitar all day and
never shower; I think I'm gonna go there myself tomorrow and
open random fire."
I don't think he'll be coming back to my house any time
And my dad..... MY DAD. He leaves the Kotel cam on his
computer screen all day. ALL DAY. I sometimes think all he
does is watch the Kotel and occasionally go to the bathroom.
I think I've pretty much got the routine of the Kotel just
from passing by his computer every now and then. It's a
wall. 3 hours later and it's still a wall. Come back the
next day and guess what!....... IT'S STILL A FRIKKIN WALL!!
But to give it some credit so that God doesn't smite me in
the next couple of minutes, so that I may post this awesome
article online, it's a special wall, one of great
BUT IT'S A WALL!
People generally stand there all day and pray. Or just stand
there. I have a picture of myself being choked in front of
the Kotel. My eyes are bulging out, my tongue sticking out,
I look horrible....it's a cool picture, you should see it.
You should see what I do to you the next time you mention