What Israel is, and what it isn't.
04/24/12
 

A friend invited me to a "Yom Ha'Atzamut" event in the city. Looking into it, I realized that it's being hosted in a NYC concert venue, and it costs $30 to get in. Also, it's associated with a bunch of AEPi's and Hillel's and other bullshit.

I just wanted to point out a few things that tick me off about this entire scenerio.

It's Yom Ha'Atzamut in Israel; Offices give off of work, and people are running around in the street getting shit-faced and making a lot of noise. In America it's just a regular day. No "Yom Ha'Atzmaut" event is going to put you in Israel, and it's too dumb to even try.

If you're not living in Israel, why do you give a shit about Israeli independence? Not to mention the fact that Jews were living in Israel WAY before Yom Ha'Atzmaut.

Who's attending this event? Let me tell you. It's a bunch of impressionable college kids who've never actually been to Israel and have just been force-fed some Hillel/AEPi garbage about what Israel is about. So basically all these people pay $30 to get together in a room and talk about how much they love a country that they've never actually been to.

It costs 30 bucks. It shouldn't cost $30 to celebrate a holiday, holidays are supposed to be free. And if you haven't already realized that there's something very wrong with this scenario, and you're caught up on the idea that the event's "proceeds are going to benefit Israeli ___[insert random crap here]___", realize that this event has a bunch of coordinators who are going to take all of the money. Yes, the remaining $.75 cents will go to benefit something in Israel (if you are lucky), but not much more. If you actually want to benefit Israel, I have a better idea: Send the money straight to Israel. There are countless legit organizations you can send to, and I'm not going to mention any, because I'm not that kind of guy. But don't fool yourself.



And because of this false perception that colleges instill in their kids, I've decided to comprise a more accurate chart about what Israel actually is, and what it isn't.

What Israel is What Israel isn't
A fun place where there are no laws, and everyone pretty much does whatever the fuck they want. Your birthright, especially if you're an asshole. Israel's got enough assholes. Stay in America.
A large, beautiful country big enough to house all of the Jews in the world. A stuffy room in Manhattan that you just paid $30 to get into.
A country, where people live, and face regular everyday life problems. A solution to your abandonment and child abuse issues.
A place to pick up hot Israeli soldiers who worship Americans. A topic to talk about on an American college campus when trying to pick up ugly Americans who wouldn't lift a gun because "it would ruin their nail polish".
Some bad-ass motherfuckers who will kick your ass. Some pussy country who needs your "benefits".

Hope this helps. If you need any further clarification about what Israel is, or isn't, you can always email me.