I always hated Zone Alarm. Zone Alarm was the reason I couldn't connect to my friends on AIM and send them pictures. Zone Alarm was the reason my friends computers kept restarting while I was in middle of chatting with them. Zone Alarm was the reason my friends would randomly get disconnected from my UT server while I was playing them, and hence the reason why my server now PAUSES THE ENTIRE GAME if someone gets kicked out, and makes everyone else wait until they come back (this is only done when the "tournament" option is set). Lets see....Zone Alarm was also the reason why my friend couldn't connect to mIRC, the reason why someone else I know cannot access a certain forum site, etc, etc. Now I know you're going to tell me "um, well corruptionX, isn't Zone Alarm the best way to keep my computer from getting hacked and full of spyware? To which I respond, "Sure - it protects you from getting spyware and viruses -- it accomplishes this amazing task by also blocking your complete access to the internet!!"

Well either way, this is all debatable. But tonight....tonight was the final straw. I installed Zone Alarm on my system just so that I could scan my friend's "owned" hard drive that I hooked up to my PC. As soon as Zone Alarm was installed, I noticed that I kept getting popups from the stupid program asking me intelligent questions such as "Would you like to allow Mozilla Firefox to browse web pages?" As soon as I said "yes" to it, not only did it allow web page access, but it also added Firefox to the whitelist, so that now, someone can go and easily hack me through Firefox, as the program is no longer being monitored, at all....We need a firewall program to do this, right? Anyways, this was all getting on my nerves so I fired up MSCONFIG and took the damn thing out of my startup. Wow, I restarted my computer and Zone Alarm didn't load up - No 30-second stall when my computer starts, no annoying popups, all is well....until I decide to open up Firefox and notice that it can no longer browse web pages!! I'm sitting on this problem for about an hour, trying to figure out why Internet Explorer is working fine, Firefox can access some web pages, namely ones that have no www in it (like this website), and I can't for the life of me figure it out. And then suddenly, everything goes dark and I see a bright light in front of me with an angel standing in its way and it says to me

"Open up ZoneAlarm, you will..."

Well, I did just that and Firefox started working like a charm. Needless to say, Firefox also worked like a charm after I uninstalled Zone Alarm and vowed never to put it back on my system. As for my friend's "owned" system, to hell with that. I used AVG.

...And for the rest of you who use Zone Alarm, continue using it...just know this. Zone Alarm will take away all the joy you have in your life. It will leave you barren, widowed and divorced, no friends, no family, no Unreal Tournament, and worst of all, no internet access. Sure, a firewall is great, but not when it just disables everything you'd like to ever do!! This program is such crap, it's worth it for me to get hacked every one in 300 years and have my entire hard drive deleted, rather than to live with the annoyance of this program every minute I'm on my computer. As to the rest of you, enjoy your stupid Zone Alarm. Maybe you actually enjoy the suffering, you sick perverts (who enjoy visiting my site), you are...

Oh, and for the record, when I do get hacked (in 300 years from now) and they see the humongous, amazing, out-of-this-world, kick ass music collection on my system, I'm sure they'll just make a copy of some of my music for themselves and leave my entire system alone, out of pure respect. I am not worried at all.


912,021,012,921,554 people out there are paranoid freaks who think that somebody out there actually gives enough of a damn about their stupid word documents and MP3's, to bother hacking into their system and taking it.

The rest of us don't run any virus protection or firewall, but enjoy the peace and tranquility of a computer that can browse the web, send people files, watch streaming audio and video, and most of all, play Unreal Tournament.