The most expensive prostitute you will ever have...

The most expensive prostitute you will ever have is a wife. Think about it. You gotta tell her you love her just so she'll suck your dick. That isn't fair! I don't like lying! Seriously. When you marry the girl you vow to put your dick into nothing but her and your rough palms for the rest of your life. And if that isn't enough, she takes advantage of the situation and demands.....THINGS! for sex. Goddammit, you just sacrificed your dick, and now she wants......MORE! As far as I remember, a prostitute only costs about 100 bucks for a full job - and that's for a good one too! Wives want kids, jewelry, vacations, and worst of all, precious time with you - time that could otherwise be spent in front of a porno, jacking off. And best of all, you can murder the prostitute when you're done with her and get your money back! GTA -MOTHAFUCKA! Okay, just kidding about that, but seriously, once you're done with a prostitute, you're DONE with her. You don't have to listen her shit, like how her boss abuses her or how last night's customer stiffed her. It's not your problem --SHE'S not your problem. And finally, you can go home to your favorite TV show without being interrupted about some stupid shit that involves feelings, or kids, or not having feelings, or whatever the fuck.