People just fucking suck.
I came across this marvelous revolution the other day while I was doing my daily comparison of me to everyone else, and realizing how awesome I truly am (I'm only awesome because everyone else sucks so much...in truth, I should only be considered mediocre in a ball stomping - whoopass world, but that's besides the point). I realized that your average person just sucks.
Like now, for example, some fucking retard just IM'd me because my AIM was on....not because he had something to say, but just because he thought it would be cool to drain some of that juice out of my sack before I got it all down in red and black -- that way I would have to start thinking again. Damn, people suck.
Why the fuck do people IM me to tell me how much other people piss them off? Don't they realize that they're doing the same thing by IM'ing me with this nonsense? That's why when I get pissed, I just take my old Electrolux vacuum cleaner and throw it down three flights of steps. It beats pissing the shit out of other people...
This reminds of that one dreadful time I decided to log onto AIM using my UNIX account from college. Since then, every time I opened the Netscape browser (quite often, class was boring as this article), dumbasses from all around the world started messaging me with important things such as A) I got my period. B) Someone keeps IM'ing me and pissing me off. C) sup ???
Seriously, what the hell. Thank god I figured out how to disassociate Netscape from the damned AIM client. I think it involved deleting my entire UNIX account or something, because nothing else would work. AIM sucks.
But it's not just AIM. The other day some fucking tard (who only calls me up when he needs something) called me up and gave me the "Hey what's up, how was your weekend" bullshit. Because I was busy with something, and in a hurry with it, I said to him "listen, get to the point, I'm busy". Instead of just getting to the point like any man with cojones bigger than watermelon seeds would do, he just got insulted and hung up. Oh well, tough shit. I was trying to help.
You see that's the problem with people. You can't be direct with them without them getting insulted. That was just one story, but there are many others, like the time I called this guy a "sack of shit" and told him "that if I ever fucking see him again, I will see to it that my initials get branded into his nutsack with a hot iron (I wasn't molested as a child or anything, I just have an artistic way with this kind of shit). Point is, the guy went running like hell and I've never seen him since. I think he moved, too.
So I ask myself, why do people take everything I say so literally? It's really because people just fucking suck and can't sit there while you demean them and accuse them of only calling you up, to get something from you (which is in fact, why they are calling). People piss me off. If you're going to be a sack of shit and only call me when you need me, at least come to grips with it, and when I accuse you of doing just that, say "yeah, I know, I'm a sack of shit". Then we can get on with things and I can give you my opinion on who makes the best DVD-Burner. Oh, and if you're not willing to swallow your own bullshit before hearing my advice, just spare yourself the embarrassment and don't call.