The revenge of the killer babies.

        In case I've never mentioned it, I hate babies. They're naggy, whiny, little peices of shit who demand our attention when we've got much better things to do, like watch TV, or have a beer. But anyway, I do my best to distance myself from them (because they piss me off so much) yet they still manage to creep themselves into every little corner of my life, fucking up everything they possibly can along the way; kind of like this girl I know... But here's the latest: My Linux server's been down for over a week now because my friend went away to camp and the server's in his house... He left his family with specific instructions to NOT TOUCH THE THING, but you know how people are when they see a computer humming away with nobody using it... Anyway, he told me that in case the server ever goes down, I should just call up his house and tell somebody there to put it back on. But I've been calling the house for the last week or so, and so has he, and nobody's been answering. It was really starting to piss me off, and then finally, I got in contact with at least him, and he told me that nobody is home these days because both his brother and his sister just had a baby, and everyone is over at the two places trying to help out. Now besides for the fact that I don't even like the mere existence of these stupid babies, why do they have to keep creeping into my life from every corner, fucking up everything I happen to know and love?

    My friend's brother just had to throw out his desktop and get a laptop because his little kid kept pulling out the plug from the desktop and fucking up the hard drive every couple of weeks. But hell, at least it's not my $900 down the drain for a stupid kid; it's his.

    Are you ever on the train or bus, and this little kid keeps punching or kicking you, or grabbing your shirt, and his asshole daddy/mommy is sitting right there and doesn't say a word, or apologize for their nuisance of a kid? It happens to me all the time and I think these parents should have their kids taken away from them before some crazy ass like myself just gets pissed off enough to smash the little kid over the head with a brick or something. It's a safety measure.

    I really, really, fucking hate kids. What good to they ever do us? The answer? Nothing. They take away the little bit of a life we have after we come home from work; the hour or two we have in front of the TV, computer, or friends; and make us answer their stupid fucking questions like "why is the sky blue?", or "why do birds fly?". When I was little and I asked my dad why the sky was blue, he said "because if it was green, you'd ask me why it's green", and continued watching TV. Needless to say, that pretty much shut me up. I don't know why my parents had me; I'd probably be better off all shriveled up inside of a used condom next to a tree in some parking lot or something, but my parents did decide to have me, and that was their decision, and now I'm going to try and make the best of it.

    Have you ever noticed that once people have a kid they stop accomplishing? Whatever amount of schooling they've completed before that horrible day when they heard the words "I'm pregnant", is the only schooling they will be ever seeing for the rest of their lives. Try to think of one person who accomplished anything after they've had a kid; besides for accomplishing to go through an entire day with their kids without killing themselves, which is an accomplishment, but it doesn't count. You can't. Once you pop one out your life is over. The rest of your life is merely based on the little success you've managed to bring yourself before you had the kid.

    So my message to you: If you think you've reached enough and you wouldn't want to ever accomplish anything else in your life, and you happen to like changing dirty diapers and answering stupid fucking questions all the time, then maybe having a baby is right for you. For the rest of you, keep on double-wrapping those condoms!

    Arghh. I'm still pissed off about my server being down.

 


On a happier note, check out this phone review by some guy named "Robert" who apparently got really screwed into paying for a shitty cell phone and probably getting stuck with a two-year Cingular contract as well. Had he gone to Amazon in the first place, and not just to put up his review, he could have gotten that same phone for free, plus $125 cash back. I don't know why but I sort of feel bad for this dude... Maybe ignorance is bliss, after all (he seemed pretty happy with the deal in the review, but those of us who know better, know he just got fucked up the ass!). He apparently also doesn't know simple math.