If you've got a piss organ that looks like a mango, don't even bother with the Prada bag...

I was actually planning on calling this article "If you're going to look like a peice of ass, don't even bother with the Prada bag...", but then I realized that these days, being called a piece of ass is a good thing.

Enough of that shit. Today I happened to be on the train sleeping when I suddenly awoke and saw this giant woman standing in front of me. She weighed an easy 300 pounds, and more disturbing than that, she had this giant thing sticking out of a place that should be her vagina; it looked sort of like a mango was stuck in her pants. And then she was holding a "Prada" bag, and I just wanted to puke. Who the hell cares what's on her shoulder with a deformed piss organ like that?

Which gets me thinking? Would I rather not eat, or not get any play? And the answer is simple: I'd rather not eat, though I've never really had that sort of a problem, but godddammit. There should be a limit to how much you can weigh in order to be able to have sex, and then there should be a limit to how much you can weigh in order to be allowed to walk around on New York City streets. And then there should be the other list of people, such as retards who annoy strangers, blind people who keep bumping into shit, and woman with fucked up pussies. If we can afford to give 30% of our paycheck away to immigrants who come to our country and are just too fucking lazy to work, we should be able to take off a couple of more dollars to keep these other nasty looking people at home so that we don't have to pollute our eyes every time we look around.

And how about those people who come on the train and jump around and clap and make all sorts of other annoying noises until you throw a couple of pennies at them? Kind of like a prostitute, except that you can't beat the shit out of them because everyone's looking. And no sex. I don't know about you but I don't give them any money to them because that only promotes them to keep doing it. Maybe your life is so boring that it needs to be lit up with this bullshit, but the rest of us have better shit to listen to, like our MP3 player. It's an amazing thing but you can crank the shit out of that volume and nearly blast out your ears but you're still hearing that stupid homeless dude blasting music off of some 10 dollar piece of shit that runs off of batteries. I'll never understand that.

It's the summer time. People want to wear less clothes. But did you ever think that maybe you'd be less sweaty all the time if you just stopped eating 12 meals a day? And then you can put your clothes back on and spare everyone else their breakfast. Goddammit, these people.

Be considerate. Shit.