Ladies: I Stand As Witness To Tell You That Guitar Players Are No Better At Foreplay Than Anyone Else.
I know a lot of
women seem to think that guitar players are really good at
foreplay because of their ability to hit high notes on the
guitar really quickly (also known as soloing). I'd like to
knock this assumption down. Fingering a guitar is not at all
like fingering a woman --not unless you can fit your entire
fist inside of her, in which case I suggest you find another
woman.
My friend on the other hand -- he's a pro, and not a
guitarist. He took a girl to a hotel room once. The chick
was screaming so loud that the next morning the guy found a
line of desperate women standing outside his door begging
for some action. I think he choked the chick to death and
buried her in the closet (might explain some of the
screaming and why it was only him who found the line of
desperate chicks outside his door the next morning), but you
catch my drift.
I stand at concerts and watch the chicks orgasm off the
guitarist and singer -- like his high vocals are goint to
make them wet themselves or something. Well I'm sick of this
shit: The guitarist is not any good at fingering, and the
singer isn't any good at eating pussy, and may not even
bother -- so stop trying. The singer's mouth belongs in
front of a mic anyway.
What amazes me even more than that is chicks' failure to
notice the naked chick carrying two loaded machine guns --
the bassist. Any girl who'se dated a bassist knows that he
has calouses on BOTH hands, and he's used to plucking
things. What more can you ask for? If I was a chick I'd tell
the lead singer and guitarists to go fuck themselves --and
ask the bassist if I could carry his equipment onto the tour
bus.