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How To Legalize Drugs In America

 
 

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I am so tired of the stupid, immoral, unjust, and unconstitutional drug war. Now the self righteous Christian pricks in this country are actually going to take away medical marijuana. Anyways, I think I have a solution.

This article will examine an objective method of legalizing drugs by examining how this method was used to legalize several other sins. The objective method in question is to get a significant number of Christians to engage in this sinful behavior. When the proper number of Christians engaging in a particular sin is reached, the country will see fit to legalize that sin. This article does not offer an estimate of what the proper number of Christians would be needed.

Finally, what is this method based on? Why is it guaranteed to work? Because roughly 80% of the voters in this country are Christians.

     1. Thou shalt not commit adultery. There was a time when every state had criminal adultery laws. There was a time when these laws were actually enforced. Now less than 25 states have adultery laws and they are rarely enforced despite the fact that adultery is commonplace. In addition, many states are in the process of removing adultery laws saying they are antiquated. So how did adultery go from being a crime worthy of criminal prosecution to a crime that is very rarely enforced if at all? The answer is because a significant number of Christians have committed adultery and still are committing adultery. Now most of the adulterers and adulteresses in this country are Christians.

     2. Premarital sex. yes Premarital sex. There were and still are actual laws on the books that criminalizes premarital sex called fornication laws. Are they enforced? Since a huge number of Christians( like me) engages in premarital sex, then it became necessary for these laws to no longer be enforced.  Of course, these fornication laws are being removed from the books. Now most of the fornication in this Christian is performed by Christians. 

     3. Abortions. Abortions used to be illegal. Killing babies for the purpose of birth control is murder, no doubt about it. So with Roe vs Wade, abortion became legal. So why did abortion become legal? What was the underlying reason? Well, as the number of Christians engaging in premarital sex and adultery increased, the number of Christian women becoming pregnant increased. This led to an increasing number of Christian women wanting abortions. By 1974, the proper number of Christians wanting abortions was reached making Roe vs Wade necessary. Thus, abortions became legal. Now 80 to 85% of the abortions are from Christian women.

     4. Prohibition. In 1918, the American Christians actually had the gall to criminalize alcohol by passing the 18th amendment. So what were the result of prohibition? Increased crime rate, increased government spending, increased number of laws getting around the Constitution, and increased government corruption due to the high profit margin of selling illegal alcohol. In 1933, the 18th amendment was repealed , alcohol was made legal and surprisingly, the crime rate dropped dramatically. So why did the Christians decide to legalize alcohol? Because it turned out that too many Christians were using alcohol. Now most alcoholics in this country are Christians.

     5. Anti-homosexual laws. More and more states are removing laws that criminalizes homosexual behaviors. Based on the previous four paragraphs, why do you think this is so? That is right, more and more Christians are engaging in homosexual acts. It appears the threshold number of Christians engaging in homosexuality have been reached. This is evident by the increasing number of Christians who are professing to be homosexuals and by the increasing number of people attending churches who are of ambiguous sexuality. In addition, more and more often TV portrays the Christians as very effeminate.  So now you know why anti-sodomy laws are being removed from the books.

     In conclusion, based on the legalization of formerly illegal sins, you must first get enough Christians to use drugs to legalize drugs in America,.